Thursday, September 29, 2005
what the fuck. how the hell do you continue to let him do this to you. IM FUCKING SICK OF IT. how can you listen to him say those things then pretend your fine. your not fine. you are a mess. i know. i want you to be happy, ur not fucking happy. and you will never be happy with him. god, fucking wake up. last nite when i held you in my arms and your were crying your eyes out, thats how you really feel. you have to end this, now. I CARE ABOUT YOU TO MUCH FOR THIS TO GO ON ANYMORE. and if your just waiting till you find someone new to end it, thats fucked up. you dont need him. and i bet if you looked hard enough, u could find somebody....i think theres somebody who...well, ily. please end it now. god please. *whos arms do you feel safer in* <3.
music: ...you not crying anymore
|
music: ...you not crying anymore
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
hey...last couple of days.... u dont even no. everything possilbe has happen. im so confused rite now. i have been given another shot with someone but can i get her. someone else needs to relize how bad the sutiation is rite now, casue i am very scared something very bad will happen to them, and i would feel responsible for not trying to get her away from it. im sooooo scared. tonite was so sad. i have never been so upset. seeing her like this was to much for me. god i wish i could do more. but i guess just being there for her is all i can do. but im tierd of her having to go through this. and after tonite... u dont even no. if i only had balls somebody would be floating down the river rite now. where he fucking belongs.... w/e. thank god something eles happen the other day or i would be really depressed rite now over everything. but i have somebody back in my life. well........thats all for now. please becarefull, i love you so much and would die if something happened to u. and to u, thanks for the hair cut. love you more than life. <3.
music: panic! at the disco - lying is the most fun a girl can have w/o taking her clothes off
|
music: panic! at the disco - lying is the most fun a girl can have w/o taking her clothes off
Thursday, September 22, 2005
hi. how are you. im good. talked to amber tonite. sorta good sorta ugh. cant wait till fair!! omg i cant believe its that time of the year again. then comes the bonfire on friday. omg i cant wait. it better be fucking amazing. hopefully goin drinkin at joeys friday. well, i guess if i want to go, casue im invited. ill go im sure. hopefully its fun. welll......... not really in the talkie mood tonite. so goodnite. <3.
music: brand new - seventy times 7
|
music: brand new - seventy times 7
Monday, September 19, 2005
150th post. yay. im so tired. rite now. blah....... today was ok. laguna was awesome as always. other than that, blah. talked to amber like 5 times but for only 5 mins. i think i know, wait, ya, i know what i want to happen. but will it, would something so amazing actually happen. no. why, casue i want it to. its so funny how she says the same stuff all the time. and im just like.....god. open your eyes. but why would anyone care for me as anything more than a freind. i would never want to lose her as a friend, i would kill myself if i did. but recently, god is so hard. and krista never calls me or fucking anything. all i have with her is hope she comes to the bonfire. which then im gonna be messed up if other things are going on. god..... im so fucking confused. but i know how i feel rite now. and i want her. she mean so much to me its scary. god im a fucking asshole....sometimes i hate myself so freaking much. w/e im going to bed to dream about u. <3.
music: brand new - okay i believe you but my tommy gun dont
|
music: brand new - okay i believe you but my tommy gun dont
hi. how are you. im ok. its monday. that means one thing. laguna beach. oh ya. cant wait to 10. uhg... so this weekend was something to say the least. im like so confused its not funny. i dont know what i feel let alone how somebody eles does. its getting tough. i cant wait to have the bonfire. i cant wait to see krista. god i miss her. cant believe next week is fair already. hum.. i wonder if krista is gonna sing like last year. hopefully. blah. i almost for some reason dont wont my phone to ring tonite. i just want to forgot about everything tonite and just relax and watch laguna. unless something major happens. which i guess it could. but who knows. well...... i guess thats all fo rnow. i misss you so much krista. cant wait to see you sweetie! <3.
music: the format - on your porch
|
music: the format - on your porch
Thursday, September 15, 2005
hi. today was fun. some good news. krista nee is coming to the bonfire. this is very good. i wish i was happier rite now. but for some reason...something is really bothering me. like it shouldnt at all. but, ya. oh well, take the good, take the bad, take them both, and you have, my opening statement, sit ubu, sit, good dog. i love family guy. the oc was good tonite. good i love that show. tomorrow could be inetesting. who knows what will go down. my weekend could be very eventfull....hopefully good tho, im sick of bad. thank god krista is coming to the bonfire. god i miss her. i really hope the bonfire is good. for me. tho, well is has to be good if me and krista are gonna be together pretty much for the first time we could do something in like months. so :happy face:. i cant wait to see her. yay. ok im better now. and nothing bad is happening tonite. but i know shes just like me when it comes to something like this... thats what scares me. oh welll, there day of reckoning will be here in any second. its gonna be bad....but thats why im here, rite?? <3.
music: straylight run - with god on our side
|
music: straylight run - with god on our side
Sunday, September 11, 2005
howdy. im sick. so blah. yesturday, hung out with nate then amber came. hung out with both of them for a while. then they left adn i got sick. went to bed, sleppt in today. got up watch the f1 race, then some football, watching the colts game tonite and new family guy. hopefully amber calls me. well thats all. im sure ill update tomorrow. love you. <3.
|
Saturday, September 10, 2005
yo. sup bitches. sgoing on. so....i guess ill start with thursday first off. felt shitty. dont know why. went some places looking for a job. came back home. hung out with andy. lounged around. watched the oc. it was spetaclur. i love mischa barton sooo much! im happy trey left. cant wait to see all of this years drama. then amber nee called me and i went down to hollywood to give her the laguna tape so she could watch it. talked to her for like an hour. i guess krista nee went on her s/n and was talking to jimmy about stuff she shouldnt have been saying. adn then jimmy texted nate, but it was ok casue he said amber was saying stuff to him, but amber was with nate so he knew it wasnt her. it sucks sorta for me casue krista says that she didnt do it, and the only person that was her s/n and password is me. so ya, i know they know i didnt do it, but i hope they didnt think i did at any point. :( that would have been sad. i dont know why krista has to do this stuff, its lame. she cant call me, but she can fuck with ambers life. its depressing. so today. not to much. hung around the hizzouse. nate came over, then aber came later, went to burger king, came back here, had coffee, i make terribble coffee. called bobby and left a long message. they left. amber called me later, and we talked for a little bit, thats bout it. some stuff i shoudnt say, and i dont think im gonna. but tonite was really tuff. all sorts of thoughts..... well i guess thats all for tonite mother fuckers. happy 21 brett, cant wait to get drunk with ya. i hope your sleeping with angels watching over you. <3.
music: yellowcard - only one
|
music: yellowcard - only one
Thursday, September 08, 2005
hey you. whats up. today was gay. amber didnt call :(. i miss ouur nightly convo. didnt rally do much else. hopefully this weekend is nice. im really missing krista nee. i think about her all the time. i just need to seee her. i wish she would call me. she has no clue how happy i would be to pick up the phone and it be her on the other end. just not tomorrow nite @8 casue the oc is on.well guess thats it, hopefully amber calls me tomorrow, but again just not durning the oc. im a california kid at heart, so i love it out throught laguna and the oc. nite eveyone. <3.
music: umbrellas - the city lights
|
music: umbrellas - the city lights
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
last few days, not much. talked to amber everyday. had the tourny over the weekend. that was fun. sooo....what else. not much really. hopefully one day this week amber will come over to hang out, tho, its gonna have to be tomorrow/today (its 2 am) since she is gonna be working both thurs and fri nites. what would i do without the internet. god i would be lost. i guess thats it. krista nee, just had to say her name, would be a post w/o it. well im off to bed hopefully. <3.
music: tokyo rose - i love you... too
|
music: tokyo rose - i love you... too
Thursday, September 01, 2005
hi! whats up. its the ninth month of the year. yay. yesturday = shitty. i wanted to see krista nee, but she went to the bar. i was really sad. god, i just wanted to hug her so bad. today was boring. friday. hopefully seeing brett. i want to go to the game, but im scared to death that someone will be there. and i dont think i could manage seeing her. im starting to really miss her. god i caould have been a better bf. i blame myslef everyday shes not with me, casue i know if i was better, we could still have been togther. but i wasnt that bad, im not dickhead or dickhead #2. im a pretty good person. so... me and amber had a really deep convo on tues about like everything. i dont know how she puts up with any of the shit in her life. god shes such a strong person. she contuies to amaze me. and krista nee continues to depress me. shes becoming the person thought she never could of been. its just oh so very sad. i miss her so god damn much, i miss the boys, i miss being with her... oh well, why would she want to be with loser... when she can be with a dickhead. i mean, i douche with knives in the floor and weed flags and tupac poster and rather smoke a joint than care about her, i dont stand a chance. i just try to be a good freind, listen to music, and watch football, no weed or knives here. how do i compete with all that? I LOVE YOU KRISTA NEE <3.
music: joseph arthur - in the sun
|
music: joseph arthur - in the sun
