Monday, August 29, 2005
hi! how is u? im in the middle of a change. gonna sit out a smester or two and get some $$. casue im broke. and then get my learn on at bu i guess. casue its cheapier than psu. hung out with amber tonite. my greatest freind ever. god i love her. nobody is cooler than her. laguna was so good tonite. i couldnt live w.o that show. talked to amber about krista nee. amber called her tonite to she if she wanted to hang out. and krista was like, no im working, so amber asked who was watching the kids, and she goes andrew at his house. and then that was it. wtf is up with krista. she is like so diff lately. she is like mean to amber. she doesnt even talk to me. is so depressing. krista is such a good person, but its like she isnt the same anymore. hopefully soon she will come out of this rut and come back to life. casue i miss my krista nee. alot! oh i guess thats it. i dont know what to think about something...its like so real but not at all. all i know is........
music: saosin - seven years
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music: saosin - seven years
Friday, August 26, 2005
hi. summer is over. it suxs. went to bretts/nathans this afternoon. had fun. came home, got rid of the white car. yay. hung out here. amber called. talked to her for bout 2 hours, maybe a little less than that. i dont know if she is coming over tomorrow moring or not. or maybe going to krista nees after 3. then out tomorrow nite. i need to ask amber about krista nee. what (who) has she truely been doing. i just need to know. and maybe..... ill say something to amber.. idk. hell maybe some how something will happen with krista nee. all i know is that i couldnt like make ot through a day w/o having my convos with amber. she has no clue how much she means to mean. god she is such a fantastic person....... im become a myspace whore. never realized how much fun that is. well........update late tomorrow on how the day went. its gonna be a big day i can feel it. I WILL HAVE SOMEONE IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS. who....
music: the rocket summer - this is me
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music: the rocket summer - this is me
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I LIKE YOU... no wait I LOVE YOU!
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
hi everybody. what is going on... sorry for like nothing lately. not busy, but just lazy.. school soon.....boo.. but ya. ha, no email form the drunk slut. will i ever hear from her again... idk. talked to the only person i care about and cares about me tonite. i dont know what to think when it comes to her anymore. i just care about her sooo much, and i know how much she hurts sometimes. and i know if she was with me, she wouldnt have to hurt. cause i would treat like the most awesomess person ever, cause she is. i have never met anybody as great as her. EVER. there has never been any comparison, even when i was lusting after a drunkard, and sleeping with a bitch, no matter what, she is and will always be a better person. ugh...... crazy. im so scared its not funny. im so afraid of being alone. and everyday that goes by, i feel that i will be alone for ever. the only two ppl i have been in relationships with have burned me. not a good start to a love life. both with the same god damn name, and both with a gay uncle. wierd. i guess i will always been the drunkards kevin, but thats all its ever gonna be. HOW HARD IS IT TO CALL/EMAIL SOME ONE........ god! so gay. i talk to amber like everyday. atleast she cares. no one else does. GOD IM PATHETIC. i get way to emotional. about nothing. i get close with somebody, and imedatly, fall in love with them. and it just complacates things. but, it wasnt my fault with the drunkard, she wanted me first. and i had no one, and god shes so fucking hot. i fell so fast for her. like literally in a day i went from knowing her to being completly in love with her. but what is there now????? NOTHING. she is still living with a FUCKING DICKHEAD. and who the hell knows who she is fucking on the side....... SO FUCKING GAY. and somebody is still with another somebody even tho.....hes prolly just as bad if not worse that the first metioned dickhead. AHHHHHHH... i hate it alll.... i wonder if she went to the party tonite? god if carl wasnt here maybe she would have asked me to come with her. i dont think she even has ever thought about me in that way? HAS SHE? i dont know, adn i want to know.... cause i know we would be so good together. i dont even fell like posting this. to much emotion tonite. dont know why. hopefully something fun tomorrow. hopefully with you. or the drunkard.. casue its so obvious she still means the world to me. but i will pass the time in my room alone............
music: kayne west - gold digger
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music: kayne west - gold digger
Saturday, August 20, 2005
howdy...today was borning....to say the least. i did like nothing. hoping for a phone call later tonite. cause that would make today a good day. i wonder what the drunk slut is doing now... wonder if someone watch the kids so she could go get fuck some place. i dont fucking care about her anymore.......it has always been a lost cause... but if i see her tomorrow....i will be completely in love woth her again... casue thats how i roll. bean dip. well, please calll me. i want to her your voice.......
music: from autumn to ashes - sugar wolf
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music: from autumn to ashes - sugar wolf
Friday, August 19, 2005
hey you. whats up ace... the last few days.... i tell ya.. crazy sums it up. hanging out with brett and carl like everyday. good times. but that wasnt the crazy part.... well its not crazy. at all. but i make it seem that way in my own fucked up way. i almost dont wannna say anthing. (ok just got like a wierd sign.) idk..... im hoping something happens. well something has happened that is very good, but not for me. but, i want it to somehow be good for me. and it just wouldnt be good, it would be the best thing ever in my life. i was sorta getting off anything of a certain sort happening, but now this has happened, and i see a light at the end of a dark tunnel... but, lots of things to overcome, some even in my own head. like another person i shouldnt even be thinking about anyways, but i still doooooo...... but she doesnt....... but today it was just sooo nice. it was like never before. i just felt so good. im so wrong...
music: yellocard - back home
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music: yellocard - back home
Monday, August 15, 2005
hey alllllll. how is you, i is good. today was ok. swimming with brett and nathan in the afternoon. now just listen to some music till laguna tonite. god i love that show. no email form krista nee :((((((((. i need her now! and she needs me now! ugh... i know she still feels the same why she always has for me... but where would we live... my only problem. i have no house..... boooo. i sometimes wonder why she has two kids.... if she didint how different we could be, be the boys aside, welll not like that, but even with 2 kids, i still know she is the one for me...... ugh.. no more tonite. I LOVE YOU KRISTA NEE. krf <3
music: cartel - minsterls prayer
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music: cartel - minsterls prayer
Saturday, August 13, 2005
hey all. whats up. not much here. today was fun i guess. went to bretts then out to lee's to take picturse casue lee hunsinger is a god. then nathans to swim. good times for sure. poker tomorrow. i need to win. b'c i just do. big table to so it means lots of money. maybe ill play agressive. HAHA ya right. my printer is broken. that is very upsetting. soooooooo....... nothing to say bout my girls. i miss krista nee so god damn much. still no email. :(. every little thing lately makes me think of her. its just so depressing. im not a happy person when im not with her. she is the only person that makes me happy. sure i have and stuff w/ others. but she is the only person that makes me feel like my life is worth living. yet, how has she paid me back.... my just fucking w/ my emotions. idk....... i just need to hurry. I LOVE YOU KRISTA NEE! with all my heart always. krf <3
music: the rocket summer - move to the other side of the block
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music: the rocket summer - move to the other side of the block
Friday, August 12, 2005
hey you. hows it going..... im tired. warped yesturday was the shit. fall out boy was fucking insane. the pit was sorta outta control tho. a little over the top. funeral for a friend was awesome. but my highlite of the day was deff motion city soundtrack. they were unfuckingbelieveable. so awesome. i love them. fun day overall. today hung out with nate and amber. :( and :). ya knoow. a couple of times i got uncomferatable and sad. but whats the difference. god she puts up with so much fucking shit from him. he is so degrading to her it makes me fucking sick. hopefully seeing her tomorrow. i miss krista nee so god damn much. she still hasnt respomded to my god damn email.. im starting to think she isnt. god she is upsetting. one year on thursday was the day i fell in love with her. 8.18.04. what a day.......... i miss that and "us" so much.. ugh..... :(. well i guess its the rocket summer then to bed to get up to go see lee hungsinger with brett nathan and mary. good timess to be had there. goodnite peeps. peace out. I LOVE YOU KRISTA NEE. krf <3.
music: the rocket summer - around the clock
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music: the rocket summer - around the clock
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
hey boys and girls. warped soon! yay. new spill canvas today. another yay. sooooo me and kk aree done again. so fuck. i sorta talked to krista nee. she said i love you. so that made me happy! god i miss her. ughhhh......... i want to marry her!!!! thats right kk---- i love krista nee, cause all u have ever done is fuck me over. blah........ plus amber has told me that she has like no emotion left for ed. SHE WANTS TO LEAVE HIM!!!!!! i just need to get her..... i love you soooooooo much! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox krf <3
music: the rocket summer - goodbye waves and driveways
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music: the rocket summer - goodbye waves and driveways
Thursday, August 04, 2005
hey. today=ghey. thats about it. no nothing. amber said she was gonna call me but didnt so ya that fucking sucks.... no call from krista kay. no email from krista nee. so BOOO! so now im sad. draft tonite was longg...and ghey. got good teams tho. warped in a week. YAY! i miss u sooo much. grrr.... leave him.... u dont feel the same way about him that you do me. i know, its a FACT! ugh.. thats alll for now... hopefully i will at least see amber tomorrow or talk to her online. hopefully. I LOVE YOU! god i love you.......
music: the rocket summer - this is me
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music: the rocket summer - this is me
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
howdie boys annd girls. whats goin on?? oh today was the tourney. good times. lost. but its all good anyways. talked to amber for and hour adn a half on the phone tonite. yay me. bout eveything and anything. ya, she said that krista nee doenst even like ed. they fight all the time. god, just thinking about posibble being with krista nee got my stomach in knots. god i need her... it was such a good convo. amber is such a cool person. i dont know who i truley feel about her. idk... i know she means the world to me tho. and so much more. didnt talk to kk. so that sucks. hopefully amber calls me tomorrow. and hopfully i get a call/visit/email from krista nee. gos i miss her. soo much. ugh.................. does amber want more? god, it just seems like it does. maybe its just me. idk.. well, im fucking tired, so the rocket summer and bed. KISSES FOR YOU!!! i love you with all my heart...
music: the rocket summer - saturday
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music: the rocket summer - saturday
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
im a georgia peach. haha. ohhh blah. laguna was on tonite. yay. it was soo good of course. and jason is a fucking ass. i hate him. lc looked so cute too. god she is awesome. oh well. today was borning. alone all day equals bad day. no talkie with no one. i think im gonna go on a little tonite. 1st krista kay-- ugh... idk. she is my first everything. she means sooo much to me. but she doesnt seem to care about me as much as i care about her. i wish she would tho. krista nee-- ugh again. still no repely on my email. :(. sad face. i want to see her soo bad this week. i think im gonna try to see how much she is still into me. like really find out. amber--wow. ya. i dont know what this is all about. but it took almost 2 years till i have felt this way about her. but ut finally happened. im really into her. like big time. i havnt stopped thinking about her all day today. its sooo wrong what i feel. sooo wrong. but, god, i love her so much as a person. she is everything that two ppl arent. but it cant happen. can it??? do i want it to happen?? HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT ME? she has seemed lately just to be so much more into me than just friends. and i know she is ready to end it with nate. idk.. and she would never hurt me. casue i know who she is and what kind of person she is. its crazy. i never thought this would happen. but it actually did. update later on. i love you. soooo much. do you love me too? a<3m
music: the rocket summer - thats so you
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music: the rocket summer - thats so you
Monday, August 01, 2005
hey you...whats going on. im back home. and its august. what an august last yr. what does this year hold?? well today, i emailed krista nee. didnt talk to krista kay. and talked to amber online. and i think im in love with amber. wow. ya. idk... its crazy... well i will update later. i love you. tho its so wrong.........
music: mcr - helena
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music: mcr - helena
